Saturday, August 07, 2010

I love you mommy, but you don't love me


Hi, Mommy. I'm your baby. You don't know me yet, I'm only a few weeks old. You're going to find out about me soon, though, I promise. Let me tell you some things about me. My name is John, and I've got beautiful brown eyes and black hair. Well, I don't have it yet, but I will when I'm born. I'm going to be your only child, and you'll call me your one and only. I'm going to grow up without a daddy mostly, but we have each other. We'll help each other, and love each other. I want to be a doctor when I grow up.



You found out about me today, Mommy! You were so excited, you couldn't wait to tell everyone. All you could do all day was smile, and life was perfect. You have a beautiful smile, Mommy. It will be the first face I will see in my life, and it will be the best thing I see in my life. I know it already.

Today was the day you told Daddy. You were so excited to tell him about me! ...He wasn't happy, Mommy. He kind of got angry. I don't think that you noticed, but he did. He started to talk about something called wedlock, and money, and bills, and stuff I don't think I understand yet. You were still happy, though, so it was okay. Then he did something scary, Mommy. He hit you. I could feel you fall backward, and your hands flying up to protect me. I was okay... but I was very sad for you. You were crying then, Mommy. That's a sound I don't like. It doesn't make me feel good. It made me cry, too. He said sorry after, and he hugged you again. You forgave him, Mommy, but I'm not sure if I do. It wasn't right. You say he loves you... why would he hurt you? I don't like it, Mommy.


Finally, you can see me! Your stomach is a little bit bigger, and you're so proud of me! You went out with your mommy to buy new clothes, and you were so so so happy. You sing to me, too. You have the most beautiful voice in the whole wide world. When you sing is when I'm happiest. And you talk to me, and I feel safe. So safe. You just wait and see, Mommy. When I am born I will be perfect just for you. I will make you proud, and I will love you with all of my heart.

I can move my hands and feet now, Mommy. I do it because you put your hands on your belly to feel me, and I giggle. You giggle, too. I love you, Mommy.

Daddy came to see you today, Mommy. I got really scared. He was acting funny and he wasn't talking right. He said he didn't want you. I don't know why, but that's what he said. And he hit you again. I got angry, Mommy. When I grow up I promise I won't let you get hurt! I promise to protect you. Daddy is bad. I don't care if you think that he is a good person, I think he's bad. But he hit you, and he said he didn't want us. He doesn't like me. Why doesn't he like me, Mommy?

You didn't talk to me tonight, Mommy. Is everything okay?

It's been three days since you saw Daddy. You haven't talked to me or touched me or anything since that. Don't you still love me, Mommy? I still love you. I think you feel sad. The only time I feel you is when you sleep. You sleep funny, kind of curled up on your side. And you hug me with your arms, and I feel safe and warm again. Why don't you do that when you're awake, any more?

I'm 21 weeks old today, Mommy. Aren't you proud of me? We're going somewhere today, and it's somewhere new. I'm excited. It looks like a hospital, too. I want to be a doctor when I grow up, Mommy. Did I tell you that? I hope you're as excited as I am. I can't wait.

...Mommy, I'm getting scared. Your heart is still beating, but I don't know what you are thinking. The doctor is talking to you. I think something's going to happen soon. I'm really, really, really scared, Mommy. Please tell me you love me. Then I will feel safe again. I love you!

Mommy, what are they doing to me!? It hurts! Please make them stop! It feels bad! Please, Mommy, please please help me! Make them stop!

Don't worry Mommy, I'm safe. I'm in heaven with the angels now. They told me what you did, and they said it's called an abortion.

Why, Mommy? Why did you do it? Don't you love me any more? Why did you get rid of me? I'm really, really, really sorry if I did something wrong, Mommy. I love you, Mommy! I love you with all of my heart. Why don't you love me? What did I do to deserve what they did to me? I want to live, Mommy! Please! It really, really hurts to see you not care about me, and not talk to me. Didn't I love you enough? Please say you'll keep me, Mommy! I want to live smile and watch the clouds and see your face and grow up and be a doctor. I don't want to be here, I want you to love me again! I'm really really really sorry if I did something wrong. I love you!


I love you, Mommy.


Every abortion is just…

One more heart that was stopped.
Two more eyes that will never see.
Two more hands that will never touch.
Two more legs that will never run.
One more mouth that will never speak.

______BY
Marian Alvear

I shared this article, still. Even though I know I might not be the person who are AGAINST ABORTION.

Because this article is really touching. So touching!

I do love babies,

They are just adorable, They are innocent and they have the sweetest smiles in the world!

They are just amazing!

Yet, I do not know will I do this in future,

But before I did,

I would say:

"My dear friends, Please do love every new life that lives in your uterus as you love yourselves!"









Thursday, July 22, 2010

背影


你的背影總會讓我有很多的感觸。
傷感的,感動的都有!
爲啥,你的背影總是那麽的有影響力?
你有很多缺點,怎麽數都數不盡!
但你的一個優點卻足夠讓個傻女為你神魂顛倒!
這就是你的魅力!

那天,爲了見我一面;
清晨剛下班就從山上奔著來找我,只爲了把我爸爸給我的護身符交給我。
犧牲自己的睡眠時間來陪我,的確令我開心!
趕時間的你在我面前表現得是多麽地自如,
卻在我送你離開,你以爲我轉身走開的那刹那;
你又用那急速的腳步奔跑著,
只爲了趕那趟云頂的回程巴士!
我偷偷回頭地望你了。
你那背影...
讓我頓時無限感動!
我又發現,
這也是你的優點!
我不會忘記你的缺點,
但也會記住你的優點!
就在我腦海裏... ...

回憶


早排,在某家的面儅用膳時遇見了一對中學拖友仔女;
心中就有種自然反應說:那麽年輕就已經戀愛了。
那時候腦海裏也不自禁地想起了當年的我們!
才發現6年前的我們也是像這對拖友一樣,墮入愛河!
那年,我們也只不過才15出頭16沒到!
沒想到,一墮就墮了6年之久!
真是“一失足成千古恨”呀!哈哈... ...

雖然戀情也沒人們心裏想像中的順利,
但心中還是會很很溫馨地回味著年時的戀愛滋味;
卻也感嘆著歲月不留人!
如今已21的我們,要找回當年的戀愛滋味;
巴仙率就只有那0.00001%的可能了。

奇怪的現象出現了。
我卻羡慕那對小情侶來了!
是搞什麽?!
人們都常說:“好羡慕你們啊!長跑的戀情可是不簡單!祝福你們!”
有誰知道我有 ‘口吃黃連,口說不出的苦’?
又有誰知道我懷念的是那5令吉買兩人的一餐?
那... 你們可知道那簡單卻快樂的兩人世界是我最嚮往的?


人長大了,難免會爲了錢而引起口角。
情侶也一樣!
男人說:金錢可以買到快樂,那是值得的!
女人說:金錢必須善用,不是用金錢買的才是快樂的!
就這樣... 口角發生了!

只能說... ...
回憶總是溫馨的!
慶幸的是,那口角已延續了6年之久;
更慶幸的是,我們還手挽手的走著... ...

希望這些熱戀中的拖友仔女們會有這種毅力地走下去!
加油!

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

02-07-2010

This was another day I spent with Rabbit on July.
He isn't plans to visit me on July cause he has to visit his grandparent who are stay in JB during his off days.
I was like #%$#^& missed him! And Genting Resort World has made the right choice to offer me a night First World Hotel Standard room and two tickets of Dazzle Show for
FREE at this moment!!
What I want to say is... Right Time, Right Destination and to the Right Person.
Therefore, I have no reason(s) to ignore this offer! =]
Even thought at that period arguments were happened quite frequent but I still went to Genting as what I've planned.



I wondering why every time we took photos, his will shows his sleepy eyes for sure!

Talk about the Dazzle. The show was just nice. Everything was nice when he was with me.
Nice to meet your colleagues too.


Sorry for those I did not upload their photos here upon of file sizes are too large. =D

And this is Ms Alexandra Lee: ^^


Friday, July 09, 2010

無聊記





在班上上網是我的第一次
因爲我已經發黴了!
黑皮老師教的課超級無聊!

當然,我是聰明的。
帶電腦上可的同時當然也不忘戴了自己的broadband上網解悶。
不要問我怎麽那麽多餘,
難道堂堂一所大學裏怎麽會沒有無綫上網服務?!
是有的,
只是那蠢蛋服務差得我不想再提!

今天本小姐不孤單。
因爲有個粉紅女郎陪我啦~~~

看看我們的自戀照吧!
哈~~咱們倆是多麽的青春無敵!!
放學了,
報告完畢!

掰掰~~

Wednesday, July 07, 2010

算了



手機,相機,筆與鍵盤是我記錄咱們倆情史的工具。

一幕幕恍然回首,卻發現咱們都變了。

你是有想法的,我是有原則的;

這依然沒變,它只不過是隨著歲月的摧殘在咱們體内蔓延;

顯然,它已在咱們的體内變得堅固了。

如今,實在堅固得像是心中的根了。

變的是那份掘強的程度與咱們原有的共識。

變的是你那份演技更驚人了!

變的是咱們的愛情不是一日三餐飯可以填飽的!

變的是愛情與咱們都不再簡單;

種種方面,咱們都變得複雜了!

但我竟然蠢得沒發現!

這是我變的;變得依賴你了,相信你了...

我變得更心軟了...

不管在哪方面,我心中的火都漸漸滅了!

找不囘了嗎?

我試圖找回...

它是否很快可以歸隊?

真的不懂...

你那朦朧的記憶中是否還記得數年前的咱們?

是否記得咱們的單純?

是否記得咱們的傻氣?

是否覺得珍貴?

再問問我自己;我只會說:我覺得惋惜!

是否應該不再心軟?

我的心軟不是給你機會改過自新,而是製造機會讓你再犯錯。

趕你走的那天... 你一語不哼地轉身離去...

你的背影卻讓我改變主意。

事隔幾天,你又重蹈復測了。

雖然那種心揪是一輩子不可能忘記的,但總不能一次次地心軟。

要不然,我還不是和你沒兩樣?

算了...

愛過好了,

開心過也好了;

痛過罷了,

跌過也罷了;

哭過算了,

我們也算了。

實在不想做任何決定,

那就讓這份愛像汪洋中的那條小船隨著浪花慢慢的漂吧!

Sunday, June 06, 2010

Wardrobe

I'm currently selling on line clothes.
For those who are interested, please kindly contact me.

6/6/2010


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Today is not our yearly anniversary...
But 6th of every month is still our day...
The word of "Anniversary" appeared in my mind like suddenly...
Although we are not celebrating monthly anniversary,
but I just want to make both of us to remember this memorable day in our life!
I know,
You did forgot every 6th of the every month.
It is ok...
I will be your REMINDER!
To remind you that you are already stay in my heart for 1827 days!!
love** xoxo

Lovely, Happiness = Sweet Life


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When we talk about SWEET LIFE, for sure it will be attached to LOVE & HAPPINESS.
Maybe some of you guys do not think so since different people have different views, perceptions and experiences towards SWEET LIFE. But according to Alexandra Lee, SWEET LIFE should be like this; yet PITY, SOUR, SWEET, SPICY (that would be 酸,甜,苦,辣 in mandarin) created LIFE.
Hopefully you guys will agree my opinion.
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Sometimes I feel that LIFE is difficult and complicated... Anyhow, I might feel satisfy when LOVE makes me feel sweet and happy. Perhaps when life turns to more complicated, then the more simple things might make people feel good or even better.
Yea, I have to say... I'm a person like this!
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I did spent my times with my loves one... Rabbit in Genting last week. Even though he was not accompanied my by spending all of his "time" since he had to work, but it was still an enjoyable moment to me!

The first day I was in Genting with Rabbit, we spent our time with Khalil Fang Da Tong; which was his Timeless Concert Live In Malaysia. Recall back to 29 May 2010, I was kinda stupid because I brought my DSLR camera to there without put in the memory card!! that's why all of my photos here are so lousy since all of these photos were taken by using mobile phone!!
Guess what, I also "kena" FFK by a person who called VINCENT TAN--- my course mate. He told me he will also goes Genting to watch this Concert. Then I was searching for him, try to borrow his camera memory card. Who knows... In the end, I "kena" FFK!!! =S
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could not really see the persons on the stage in this photo! =[
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Rabbit & his colleague, Patricia.
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Couple if the night!
Khalil's concert was very nice. All of the music and songs he presented on that night were very comfortable and nice with JAZZ style... majority of the songs were in JASS style I mean.
However, it was quite boring... Maybe I'm not the person who like JAZZ...
I preferred ROCK style artist--- Jam Hsiao, still! =]
Anyway, I did enjoy the concert. =]

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Time passed rapidly... First day ended! time to sleep. =)


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Dressed up myself nicely of the second day in Genting purposely wanted "dating" with Rabbit.
If you see clearly, you will see there was at least 3 super big pimples on my face!! that's why I did not applied too much BB cream or foundation on my face because those cosmetic might make my face even worse ... aarrgghhh!! My face is in bad condition... I look kinda ugly even though those super big pimples are now disappeared from my face, but those lil lil lil pimples are still like a bubble gum, stick on my face!! ishhh....
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Does anyone already watched Prince of Persia? It is damn nice!!! No?
Well, the movie is full of surprising... Especially the ending... Brought us to the climax of the story for few times! (my opinion la~~)
Like this movie so much! Thump up!!! Clap Clap
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Cam whore in the cinema
Heard a person who sat behind me said in Hokkiean
"Walao eh, got people take photograph!! I'm not their background ler!"
Silly, talked to myself in my heart:
" Nobody want to take you as background with your super duple ugly & "yong sui" face la!"

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I was too bored after went back to hotel...
So, cam-whore again... teehee

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It was 31 may 2010!!
Yea, It was a sweet day!!
So there was a must to fill up my empty stomach with 31% discount quart Baskin Robbins ice cream!!
Ended up my day in Genting with my favorite flavour-- strawberry cheesecake, peppermint choco chips and vanilla choco chips =]

I did not know why, a simply trip like this ( just purposely visited him) could made me felt so sweet, happy and lovely!
Hmmm... nothing much I can say... Because I also do not know how to describe the feeling exactly!
Anyway, I would like to say I'm glad to your ... loves one! Thanks for your caring, loving and everything! xoxo^^